geesh im random and definitely not suicidal

so here are some random thoughts i had today, and i am going to try and piece them all together...on a side note, i am not suicidal, i am not going to hurt myself...don't worry about it, i just felt like being emo...
I hate my face! Therefore I am going to cut my face off!
To love is to fail yourself. Love suggests opening yourself up to another, and to remove the mask we all must wear to keep the outside from knowing us. No one must know the real you, and to love another says that you have taken down your mask. Why do people do such idiotic things, as to allow themselves to be so terribly hurt? It is dumb to become unnumb...
I want to be dead, I have been betrayed, terribly betrayed. I opened myself up, and I got hurt. I hate life and everything about myself. Why did I have to be so trusting? To trust is to be stupid; to be open is to instantaneously fail. Therefore I am a failure; automatically and utterally sad and pathetic. I have become a betrayer to ease the pain I am feeling inside.
I love death because in it, I am complete. Death is the escape, the freedom of my soul. Death is the way to end all suffering and pain, to let my soulless body rot in the cold, cold ground; to warm my frozen heart from its icy wasteland to a chilly plateau of numbness...No one cares about me! I'm gonna go kill myself now! I love you, don't cry for me. I am in a better place. Do not wear black to my funeral, i lived a colorful life, I gave myself a colorful death, and I want to be remembered as such. "See you when you get here, If you ever get here..."
Like I said, I was just feeling emo, and i thought this stuff was pretty good...I AM NOT FEELING SUICIDAL...I PROMISE!!!!!!!!! I love you guys, and peace out...
ps, heres part of an old post that i liked...
You know, Christianity is sooooo confusing. We are commanded to love one another, and forgive one another for the wrongs committed against us. However, we are not expected to continue to be friends, or be walked on like a door mat, or stay in touch with those that hurt us. We are just simply called to forgive and forget. It is often that last part that gets us so hung up. We can forgive, people make mistakes. But forgetting, that is so hard, because often after we've forgiven, and given those initial feelings to God, we still have to deal with the pain, and emotional stress, often times its a physical strain, especially when the relationship was close, and so therefore how can we forget? It has been said, that those who forget the past are doomed to repeat it. Who in their right minds would want to ever get in a relationship that would leave us in the state for which we were so hurt to begin with? How then, can we forget that which has been done to us? It comes after much time spent in prayer, and seeking after God's will. In time, the pain gradually goes away, until all that we are left with is a memory. In that memory, we remember the pain, but our hearts have forgotten what the pain felt like, we will just remember that that time was a painful learning experience, which good has come out of. So it is that we do not want to completely forget the pain, or that which caused the pain, but only to remember the things we learned while in the midst of all the hurt caused against us.
peace out folks!