Im in love with a...

Im in love with a flippin boy and he will never know how much i really do love him...and there are those random times that i think he could love me too, but i know that in all reality, he will never feel for me the way i do for him. i really wish i could stop my heart from beating a little faster when i see him, or stop myself from smiling when i think of him...but i cant, hard as i have tried, i still cannot. some times i have asked God why i cannot allow my heart to go solely to the one He has for me, but instead i waste my love on those who will never love me back...i guess it's God's way of letting me see a piece of His heart...oh how i love manuel najera...his personality is a-ma-zing...he's not even my type, but that doesnt matter to me. the saddest thing in all this is that i want his happiness over mine...as long as he is happy, i dont care how i feel in the end...if he were to date and marry my best friend, i would be so happy for him, even in my pain, my heart would soar for them. he and i will be partners in ministry, with our future spouses, and i know i will be well over him when we do go into ministry together, but his wife is so lucky, she is getting a gem of a guy...why do i love him? a friend of mine asked me why i liked him...and i didnt have an answer that didnt sound so cheesy...he's got the same calling as me, he has a great personality, and he has a love for God that is real, and strong...i told my friend that i liked him cuz he could cook...i guess i trust the unknown whatevers out here on the internet more than i do my friends, cuz i couldnt say to her that he makes my stomach tingle, and my head spin...alright, i guess thats all i have to say...im in love with a stripper (dont ask), paz